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Thinking Many Things
I stayed at my parents’ last night, and could sleep in pretty well.
I had a big breakfast and this is lunch my mom made for me.
My favorite noodle.
A housekeeper, who has come to my parents’ house since I was an elementary school student, told me secret today.
She was like,
“I always can tell if you came for dinner the last night or not every week by looking at dishes. Not because more dishes than usual but there are more nice dishes when I am there for dinner.”
I knew that my mom cooks all my favorite dishes whenever I am there, but I did not know that she cares about the dishes for me too.
I felt appreciated to my mom again.
We went to a department store to get clothes for funeral.
Actually, doctor told my parents that my grandma would die pretty soon.
It could happen this weekend, but seems like she is now better.
I needed clothes for funeral, so my mom took me to the store.
It might sound cruel to prepare for grandma’s death, but I had to.
In Japan, people judge family members at funeral, especially if the person related to a company.
Too complicated to explain here, but in short, people don’t come to pray for the dead people but to see their family.
It would be sad to see my grandma’s death, but at the same time I want to let her go because she is too sick.
I went to Spa today after the shopping.
I have a cold so I shouldn’t, but I wanted to get relaxed.
I talked with a girl who game me a treatment a lot today, which I usually don’t.
She gave me many impressions of me and asked me many questions, which also she does not do usually.
It was interesting to hear how other people see me.
She told me about her own dream too.
Somehow I got encouraged by her today and got relaxed physically and mentally.
Had dinner, did laundry and cleaned my room.
Today was a national holiday in Japan, an extra day-off for me.
I gotta got to work earlier than usual and will work hard tomorrow.
I have already decided what to wear.
I am kind of excited to go to work tomorrow.
Hope it will be a good day tomorrow!
Lots Of Napping
I felt guilty in this morning.
I went to bed pretty late last night, and obviously weekend is the only time I can sleep in.
However, this morning, my grandma woke me up really early.
I asked her to let me sleep more, but she got upset and told me that, “You are not by yourself now. You are in community life. I'm afraid you lacks cooperativeness.”
That made me super upset.
I cared about her, and that was my choice to stay there, but I wanted to understand her how much I need sleep.
We talked a bit, and we made up.
Since then, she was super nice to me, and I felt guilty that I made her feel fear at me because of the way I upset to her.
She is my grandma, and I should have known how much she wanted to spend time with me since I don’t visit her enough.
I feel horrible…
And it was true that nowadays, I am so used to be by myself to live my own way.
Anyway, we calmed down and had breakfast peacefully.
I took a shower after that and took a nap till we had lunch.
I requested her to cook my favorite lunch menu she makes.
She used to cook that for my grandma and for me.
Whenever I tried her receipt, I can’t finish the same as she does.
Uncle Koji and I went shopping after lunch by bus.
After we came back, I took another nap.
Okay, then I felt that slept enough.
We had dinner together, my another favorite dish which my grandma cooks.
I think she is the best cook.
She used to be a super housewives, like she was a good mom and a good teacher, artist, cook, wife, and etc, etc.
She showed me an article of a newspaper, which was about 40 years ago.
The article was about how great she was.
I had never seen it and I was really surprised.
Now she is close to 90, but she still does her nails, and makeup.
She is still a perfect lady, I gotta follow how she lives as a lady.
Sad News
It was a normal day for me except a call from Tae.
I got call from Tae when I was working.
He suddenly called me and said he had to leave Japan tomorrow.
He was crying so bad over the phone so I knew something bad happened to him.
His grandma passed away today.
I had met her when I stayed his house back in Korea before for my summer vacation.
She was such a sweet grandma who was really nice to me.
She was in Japan when we did not treat well to Korean people long time ago.
So when she talked to me in Japanese and held my hand, I was so happy and I felt guilty about the time we had a war.
I thought she had such a big heart.
I hate myself that I could not find the right thing to say to him when he was crying.
Today was the last day for me to work at my department.
I will move to R&D department from tomorrow.
I felt a little sad when I was doing daily work at my office.
I am just gonna move to the next building, but it seems like a big deal to move there.
Tonight I had an appointment with my nail artist.
I got my nails really short for a lot of work waiting for me from tomorrow.
She has a tiny dog who sits on me all the time I was there.
She was such a cutie, and I got in love with her quickly.
I wish my dog were as friendly as she was so that more people would love her.
Look how she looked at me.
Can you believe that this was only the second time to see her?
Well, I am going to bed now with thinking of Tae’s grandma tonight.
Hula Dancer
I was thinking about my grandma today.
I went to see her last weekend to her nursing home.
She looked totally different person, can't eat, can't say anything, can't remember anything, and can't walk.
She opened her eyes when I was telling her that I saw my cousin in Shanghai last month.
But other than that, she seemed like she was sleeping.
What happened to her??
She was such an active person before she got stroke.
Is she happy now? Does she still wanna live?
I am not sure...
I wish I could let her die, although it is sad and might sound pitty.
But to see her living without doing anything is even harder for us.
Living is hard.
Well, now about my Hula lesson.
I went to Hula lesson tonight after a month.
I could not finish working early enough so I took a cab on the way to the lesson.
It was so funny that the driver was the same guy as the driver the last time I took a cab.
He remembered me too, and we talked about the same topic we talked the last time.
Anyway, hula lesson was fun as always.
My teacher went to SF for Hula contest last month and got second prize there.
I had never known that there are many hula dancers in SF!
Today after the lesson, my teacher talked to me if I am interested in going up to the next level.
If so, I have to take 2 classes.
I am not sure if I can afford two lessons, and also not sure if I have enough energy to take 3-hour-long lesson.
But I wanna be hula instructor in the future when I turn to 70s, so maybe I should.
I can't make up my mind right now...Hummm.
By the way, today at work, one of my bosses gave me a hard time.
I don't know why the only thing he does is "rejecting".
When I gave him a report, the first thing he said to me is "NO. I reject it"
Damn it!! He should behave better.
I should learn how to treat people below me from his attitude.
I won't be mean like him for sure.
He had never motivated me!!!
Haaaaa, I am so glad that I could go to Hula lesson and refresh a bit...
This picture is Darch who was taking a nap, by the way.
I love taking nap next to her!
