skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Who Am I?
There is "May Sick" in Japan.
"May sick" is a sick business people get in May, wondering about their jobs.
I think I get that sick now, although it is still April now.
I want to leave my work now.
I got promoted in April and since then, I have been tired of trying to deal something too hard for me to solve.
Now wondering what is the point to pretend that I can do something difficult although I can't do it easily.
Whenever I talk with someone, I tend to think about my job and feel jealous, and I hate to see the ugly side of me like that.
When I visit my friend who is married, I feel jealous.
When my married friends show their jealous to me, I feel "Why?"
When I talk with someone who is still a student, I feel jealous.
When they tell me that they feel jealous about me having full of energy, I feel "What?"
When I talk with elder people, I feel jealous that they can do everthing really well.
When they say I am talented, I feel even embarrased.
Now I really feel who knows real me.
This is something I have felt since I was little.
I think I have concentrated on doing more than I can do to make people feel impressed about me.
Now I feel lonely that I can't show real me, and I even don't know what is real me even...
This is one of projects I am deal now at work.
I think I work really hard to make this project success, but it doen't go like I plan.
People deal this project really slow.
Hard for me to pursue them, and to be honest, I don't know why I have to use my energy to pursue them.
I want to use this energy to success this project more.
My private life is the same way.
It does not go like I plan.
Then what's the point to make plans?
Tonight at dinner, people said they can't make a plan when to die and how to die.
It is so true, and I get loss what I am doing right now...
I think I should re-set my plan about my life.
I was not sure if I should write this personaly thing on this blog, but I decided to put on.
Hoping that I can laugh at this entry when I get over this problem.
And I think I should remember what and how I think when I facr to my turning point.
It is hard now to think about this kind of stuff, too difficult.
But I know that I will be much stronger after I go through this difficult situation.
Sign of Spring
This is a reproductive shoot of the field horsetail.
We see those on the round in Spring.
I found them at the parking lot at my working place.
My sister and I used to find those at embankment in front of our house.
We competed who found more, and asked grandma to cook those after we picked.
They were not delicious at all, but taste special because we were the one who picked those!
Spring is my favorite season.
Lots of flowers and the weather is nice, and everything look fresh.
However, there is a bad part of spring.
It is said that there are crazier men in spring compared with other season.
I asked my mom why but she just said it is because of this warm weather.
I was on a train at 11PM the other night, and I saw a crazy man.
He looked 50’s, and he was staring at his cell phone.
I was sitting next to him, and glanced his cell, and looked again.
He was watching porno video on the cell in the train!!
I wanted to tell him, “Excuse me, You are in a public space... Can you wait till you go home?”
It was very very strage situation for me.
I even don’t know how to download a video on my cell and watch it….
Oh well…
Hang In There
These are pictures I hang on the wall at my apartment.
I love putting many pictures at my apt.
I started doing it since I saw so many pictures at American houses.
Especially, I thought it was neat to have lots of family pictures on refrigerator.
Now there are so many picture flames in my apartment with pictures of my family and friends.
Whenever my friends stay at my apt, they look at those pictures to kill their time.
The other day, my friend and my friend’s friend came over to my apt to stay, since we stayed my bar too late at night and they missed their train.
When we got home, my friend told to the other person who was looking at my pictures, “ Yeah, yeah. She used to be so cute, huh?”
I was like “Wha???”I was shocked by two facts.
“I USED TO BE cute??” and “ I got changed since I was early twenties??”
Dang, I believed I had not changed since I was twenty!
But it seems like not…
Actually, I know I am getting old but still I believe I can be looked 5 years younger than my actual age.
In the morning, when I was preparing for work, I was told, “You are getting old… I can tell…”
I think my friend was paying back to me since the night before I told “ You look older tonight. You need to get a hair cut. And you seems like you gained weight, etc…”
We tease a lot each other and discuss about serious topic like our jobs or future.
We have been friends since we were in Denver, and both of us have gotten older compared the time we had no responsibility in school.
Now both of us were struggling in a society and tired.
My friend was really noisy by talking in the middle of night without consciousness about work.
I was also noisy with grinding my teeth and found a gray hair in the morning…
Ahhhh, full of stress… Life is tough, but we are hanging in there!!
Healthy or Unhealthy??
Recently, I am interested in Macrobiotic Food.
Macrobiotic Life means this.
Usually Macrobiotic Food is not tasty, like a normal food we eat.
However, one restaurant, which I often go, serves quite good Macrobiotic Food.
Her thought is that “You don’t have to strictly admire Macrobiotic”
What she does is that she serves Macrobiotic Food mainly, but still serves a little bit of meat too.
Moreover, she serves alcohols.
She explained, “Since you eat very balanced food, most people feel better than usual, even after they drink alcohols”.
Once I went to this restaurant and drunk, and went to two more different places to drink will 2:30 in the morning.
I got so surprised on the next day, because I felt so good the next day!
I should say my body was really light, and did not feel any fatigue.
Since then, I love this restaurant, and people whom I took also feel the same way on the next morning.
Isn’t it interesting?
Because I am doing a research about healthy stuff for work, I am more interested in healthy food lately.
On the other hand, I go out to drink a lot these days,
I found a nice bar close to my apartment.
I love this place because of the following reasons.
1. I like the design of the bar (Smells wood and the light is very moody)
2. I like the atmosphere (Usually this place is not crowded)
3. I like the master of the bar (He makes good drinks and he is hilarious)
4. I like the location (So close to my apt, so I don’t have to worried about me going back home after getting drunk)
I never had “My Bar”, so it might sound silly, but I am very excited.
I like beer, wine and cocktail, but I can’t hold alcohols much.
However, when I am at this bar, I feel relax and can enjoy drinking much.
Usually, when I go to this bar, my friend stay at my apt, so we can stay there long.
When I go there, I feel I am healthy mentally, but of course on the next day, I am tired…
Is my life now healthy or unhealthy??
Nails This Month
These are my nails this month.
I had my nail artist at my apartment late last night.
I am really lucky that I have someone who comes over my apartment to do my nails even late at night.
Unfortunately, I don’t have time to go to salon lately before they close.
I have to get my hail cut too, but have not been able to arrange the time…
I bet I look pretty bad now.
These are her some items she used to do my nails.
These shiny powders are really cute, and made me excited.
How come women love shiny stuff?
When I was in Beverly Hills, I went to some jewelry stores, which made me so happy.
I even sigh by seeing those beautiful accessories.
I wear rings all the time, but they were no longer shiny at all.
Finally, I shined them the other day.
Now I am happy with my shiny nails and my shiny rings.
Shiny stuff around me cheer me up especially in stressful days!
Unique Item In Tokyo
I went to Tokyo on business the other day.
It was the first time for me to see this strange stuff in a public bathroom.
I had seen a board to change a diaper for a baby in a public bathroom, but this was different.
It is called “Changing Board”
I saw a couple in different bathrooms in Tokyo.
This is a board to change clothes on in a bathroom.
I was wondering how many people had used this.
At the same time, I was wondering why they decided to spend money to have this board.
It is so nice of them to have this kind of stuff, but it made me laugh…
I don’t change clothes in public bathroom anymore now.
A public bathroom used to be such an important place for me as a high school student.
I went to a strict catholic school, and wore a uniform since I was an elementary school student.
We were prohibited to have pierces, keep hair down, or make uniform skirt be above our knees.
All of us wanted to wear a mini skirt, so we wore a belt all the time.
The belt was our secret item.
After we left school, we run into a public bathroom and used belt to hold our skirt.
We held skirt with a belt, and hid the part with a jacket, and hung out in a town.
Still we could get in trouble if we saw our teacher who patrolled a town to make sure if we went home straight.
It was kind of fun to do as many things as we could by going to a very strict school.
Anyway, this changing board somehow reminded me of my high school days.
Spring Has Come
“Winter has gone, and spring has come” was the sentence I had to remember at my English grammar class in high school to learn present perfect tense.
It is such a boring sentence, which I don’t think native English speakers don’t say.
Anyway, spring has come in Japan.
This year, I totally forgot about “April Fool”.
I forgot to lie to anybody…
It was a day I was looking for when I was little, since I could lie and nobody got mad at me.
Maybe everyone is the same, but my parents were very very strict about telling lies.
They told me that was the worst thing to do.
So I always felt weird to be told to tell a lie a day in April.
Most of the time, I just lied for fun, nothing serious.
However, I remember that I gambled on April 1st when I was sixteen.
I lied to a boy whom I liked to see if he was interested in me or not.
It was so stupid of me to do such a thing, but because of a small lie I told, we started hanging out by ourselves.
Somehow it ended soon, and I even don’t remember where we went, what we did and how we ended.
But I remember what lie I exactly told him, maybe because I felt guilty that it seems like I deceived somebody on that day.
Now I am old enough not to get excited about April Fool, but every year I think what kind of lie I would tell to somebody.
But thinking lie which does not hurt anybody or nor deceive, but make somebody laugh is tough.
Too much work to do…!!!
April with Cherry blossom trees is such a special time for us, Japanese.
April is a month we start new things, such as entering school, starting working, going up to the next grade at school, moving, everything.
So whenever we see cherry blossom in April, we feel like refreshing and starting new things.
For example, from this April, I got a different title and have more responsible work at company.
I joined ceremony for employees who got different title, and I felt myself really refreshed.
Another example, I can’t help buying new stationeries in April.
Most of Japanese feel the same way that we can’t get rid of our custom when we were kids.
We had to buy new stationeries to go to new classes at school in April when we were kids.
I bought a new orange calculator this year hoping I will be better at accounting stuff.
Well, “Winter has gone and spring has come”
I am all excited about new things and new people thatI am going to meet.
There is "May Sick" in Japan.
This is one of projects I am deal now at work.
