This is in front of my house.
It is winter, but the landscape here looks like it is autumn, very beautiful.
Today I renewed my driver's license, so I went to DMV which is a little far from my house.
I had never got on a Japanese highway by myself, so I was very nervous when I was driving today.
After I got off form the highway, I went to a wrong way, which is oneway road from the opposite side.
I am glad that I did not cause any accident.
After I got a new licence, I went shopping to get on orange color skirt.
I did grocery shopping afterwards and it reminded me of the time I cooked a lot for my boyfriend when we lived together.
At that time, I thought that I should have taken care of myself better.
Since I live by myself now, I don't care about my apt much.
Actually, I like doing laundry, ironing, cooking, and cleaning but I love doing those for somebody else.
However, I realized that I should take care of myself to be able to take care of somebody else.
So I started from today.
I cleaned my room, and did enough skin care, and so on. (There are more stuff that I have to do in this apt though)
I can't do everything at once, but to start immediately is important, I believe.
The other day, I talked with a chef guy.
I got to know him through my friend.
To be honest, I am afraid of him.
He is really nice and polite, but it seems like he is very calm person and see me in different way from the way most of people see me.
We have talked just a couple of times, but the other day he said,
"You are struggling between dream and reality, aren't you?"
I was shocked.
At that time, I was talking about many things very happily and I was not looked "struggling"...
I always know what is right and what is bad.
I know what I should do.
Sometimes, since I know about "right thing" too much, I get really tired and depressed.
Because I am absolutely not perfect, I get disappointed that I can't do what I should do.
More than that, my weak point is that I expect other people to be perfect, although I know it is impossible.
I just smiled when he mentioned that, but in face, I was very embarrassed.
Again, he is not my friend whom I know for a long time, but he got to know my weak point.
I admit that I am an idealist, which I should change.
This is what I have been thinking about this weekend.
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