Is this premenstrual syndrome?

My Busy Feeling

Last couple days, I am crazy.
I think I still care about one of my assistants, who is going to quit our company soon.
When I talked to my boss, he said she quit because of me.
Since I heard about it, I have been depressed and got scared of everything.
I had three days off till today, and I am going to work tomorrow, but I could not stop crying tonight.
I am scared.
I hate myself that I am this weak, but I really don’t want to go to work…
How come I can’t do well…

I went to pick Iwasaki san, who is my favorite person, up in this morning.
I got there a little too early so I was waiting for her in front of her house.
Then her father drove back his car, and hit my car.
I had never seen him before so this was the worst way to see him.
I felt really bad that I let him hit my car.
Also I was shocked that my car got this damaged since I never hit my car before…

Anyway, we had lunch together and I got power from her.
I talked with her about my worries and made me realize that I don’t feel fear to talk about my thoughts.
I always listen to her worries, but this time she cheered me up so much.
We had Indian food.
It was pretty good.

After lunch we went to have tea and sweets.
She told me all about her new boyfriend and she looked really happy.
She would not come to the US with me anymore, but I am still happy for her.
At night, when I could not stop crying, I thought I might have PMS right now.
How come girls have to go through this?
Maybe boys would not understand this and would think girls are crazy…
Anyway…
Since I had so much work to do till tomorrow, I was doing it with struggling.
Teppei, who is my old friend from college, called me.
He said, “I am going to get married!”
He finally decided to get married with his girlfriend whom he was dating in SF.
I did not know when he got back with her, so that was a pretty surprise.
Teppei and I have shared a lot, so tonight we talked about what each of us is doing now.
He kept saying, “You can do it, you don’t have to worry, you are talented”.
It helped me a lot since I am weak now.
He said, “We all can get success and we can do something big in the future all together”.
When I think about it, most of my friends who studied abroad are very talented and they are going to be successful.
I felt that I should follow.
I felt a little better now, but still am scared to go to work tomorrow…